How do you approach the putting on and taking off of your bra and underwear each day? Is it with a “hurray!” or “what the hey”? If you’re in the “ugh, what the hey” category, you are not alone. Most people don’t find the act of putting on or taking off their daily undergarments very fun. In fact, many people actively despise their bras, and can’t wait to take them off! If that’s you, you have a very exciting opportunity to update this daily routine and your life in the process.
psst! some of the links in this post and on this site are affiliate links or partners. As always, I provide my honest opinion to help you say hurray inside, outside, and underneath!
From routine to ritual
When I talk about putting on and taking off your bra, I don’t just mean how you physically do it. {Though, if I’m being honest, most people are not putting on their bra in a very hurray way. Don’t worry, I can help!} What I mean is how you approach it and how you can use it as a way to love on yourself. One of the many blessings I’ve had as a long time bra fitter (since 2005, thank you very much!) is to help people update the way they view and use their undergarments. For those of us that wear bras, we wear them over a very sacred area of the physical, energetic, and emotional body: the heart. So when we slap on a bra with little to no thought, or (even worse) with negative thoughts like “ugh I hate this”, then we are infusing those thoughts into our day. And since this is very often one of the first things we do when preparing for our day, we have a real opportunity to set ourselves up for a day of success.
In addition, if you’re a regular bra and underwear wearer you can add a self-love and self-care element into something that you already do. There’s no need to go to a studio, or drive to an event, or meet up with someone, or do anything extra. With just a switch of your mindset and 10 seconds of your day, you can change something that’s already a part of your routine into a self-love ritual. Hurray!
Kimmay Caldwell Hotel Photo Session, NYC -New York Personal Brand Photographer – Andreea B. Ballen Photography, NYC Personal Branding Photographer
5 Steps to Create a Self-Love Lingerie Ritual
Step 1: Refresh your lingerie drawer
Let go of the styles and sizes that are no longer a fit. You can actually have your own ritual around letting go, if you want! But at the very least, you can follow Marie Kondo’s advice and say thank you to the undergarments and lovingly release those that do not spark joy – AKA those that don’t fit well or are stretched out or falling apart, or those that do not match your current needs and desires, or those that do not serve your style or support clothes.
You can even support others when you let go of what no longer serves you. For example, you can donate gently worn bras to one of my favorite organizations, Support the Girls. If your items are not wearable by others (aka worn out AF), then you can send them to The Bra Recyclers who repurpose materials for a more sustainable fashion world. Not to mention, when we release old things in our lives we make space for something even better – physically and emotionally.
After you’ve let go of what’s no longer working, it’s time to refresh and update your lingerie drawer! Take your time to lovingly put in items that inspire you and encourage you to see your own beauty and to feel supported, held, and confident. Fill your drawer with a mix of great basics that help you feel the way you want, perhaps like supported, held, comfortable, alluring, powerful. And add in things that adorn your body and can inspire you to feel beautiful, desirable, healthy, cherished, and more. Find the mix and the feelings that support the life you want!
Here are some resources to help you build up a wardrobe of items that make you say hurray.
Free Bra Class
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Step 2: Create a sacred space
Now that you have beautiful bras and lingerie that fit well and feel great, it’s time to make where you store them and put them on beautiful, too! Part of what makes something sacred is the atmosphere or environment. So if your bra and underwear storage solutions are messy, or emotionally draining it can be difficult to have an uplifting experience. Start with creating a dedicated space for your undergarments and lingerie. You can get creative! Use a drawer, pretty boxes, or even hooks for some of the items. Be sure to store molded bras stacked one behind the other (not folding one cup into the other), and like items together. Continue the clean up by clearing any clutter or unrelated items.
Next, infuse love and beauty into your lingerie storage and dressing area. This can look different for everyone, and here are some suggestions for you to try:
- scented drawer liners or pretty paper
- candles or oil diffusers
- a gorgeous mirror
- soft and cozy lighting (a simple light bulb update can do the trick)
- sacred totems or spiritual items
- mementos or objects with a deep personal meaning
- crystals or gemstones
- flowers or plants
- decorative elements and inspiring items
- a vision board or motivational quotes
Every little bit of inspiration adds up to a beautiful experience!
Step 3: Set an intention and use affirmations
When you put on your lingerie, what is your intention? You may mindlessly rush through this action right now and you have an opportunity to pause, breathe deep, and envision how you want your day to go. Setting an intention for the day can be as simple as breathing into a word that reflects how you want your day to go, and then envisioning that quality entering your body and your day as you fasten the bra around you. It’s like putting on a layer of love each morning. Now as you walk through your day you can remember that you’ve called in something like “courage” or “beauty” or “power”.
Also, when used properly, affirmations can be a very powerful and simple part of any ritual. Learn how to use affirmations, and download a few of your favorite from my free affirmations page! Say them aloud, place them on your mirror, or see the words supporting your body as you slip on your lingerie. Alternatively, you can create a more lengthy intention setting that includes journaling or meditation, and you can combine it with other morning or evening rituals. What elements can you include in your own morning ritual?
Similarly, you can use the simple action of taking off your bra and undergarments each day. Instead of “ugh I can’t wait to get this thing off” (which hopefully we’ve also eased the need to do so with step one and well fitting bras and underwear), you lovingly reflected on your day, let go of any should’s or unfinished tasks, and pause to say a word of gratitude for your day. Imagine wrapping up your day and transitioning from work to rest with this simple ritual. How will that affect your evening? How will that improve your next day? This can take 10 seconds, 10 minutes, or a whole hour! It’s up to you. How do you want your end of day ritual to go?
Step 4: Uncover your beauty
One of the most powerful parts of this practice includes recognizing and uncovering your beauty inside, outside, and underneath. For me personally, the act of putting on and taking off my undergarments is a really great time to show my physical body some love. Do you ever really look at your body? I mean really look at it and take it in? If you started doing so, and replaced fear or disgust with a form of compassion and curiosity, I wonder how much more understanding and love you could foster for your body?
In addition, you can use this intimate part of your day to care for your body in simple, loving ways. That can look like warming up your hands and starting from your feet up to your head, gently pressing them onto your skin, saying “I love you” or “I am learning to love you”. Don’t forget your breasts or chest! You may even want to do this while looking in the mirror, and finding one (or more) thing for which you are grateful for your body. Personally, I sometimes take my healthy, able body for granted. So going from head to toe and saying things like “I’m grateful for my legs which take me to amazing places, with ease up and down stairs” or “I’m grateful for my arms so I can hug my honey or snuggle my cat”. Try it out and see how this unfolds for you after a few days or weeks of doing this!
Some resources to support you on your body love journey:
- How to Be Your Body’s Best Friend
- Learn to Love: Your Belly
- Learn to Love: Your Legs
- Learn to Love: Your Bum
Step 5: Build a practice
Now that you’ve set yourself up for a hurray each morning and night and tested out some things, you can use that feedback to build your own practice. Love is not a one time thing. It’s a consistent practice.
Ask yourself what elements that I’ve mentioned above really work for you each morning and evening, and which you want to take on as a regular part of each day. In addition, you can create a practice of deep dives. For example, maybe you take inventory of your bra drawer contents and go shopping for new items every six months. Or maybe every month you put on your most beautiful, sexiest lingerie and wear it around your house, lounging to gorgeous music and sipping wine. Or perhaps you build a practice or wearing crystals in your bra and you clear or charge them up on a regular basis.
Bonus: take care of your undergarments
Part of loving your body and yourself includes taking care of it. So you can extend that self-love by taking care of the things you put onto your body. Undergarments have an important job to do, and they cover two of the most sacred parts of the body. So a little extra love and care can go a long way. Take a look at my Care Page and learn how to wash your undergarments – from bras to swimsuits, shapewear to period underwear.
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Credits: Photos by Andreea B. Ballen at the Gregory Hotel in NYC. Check out her blog post interview with me! Wearing a bra and underwear set gift from Panache, the Quinn Balconette Bra in 32DD and matching high-waist bottom in Medium.
