Do you ever fear that you are not enough? That you don’t measure up? Or that you’re not perfect? I hear you! For years I struggled as a perfectionist. And…
It wasn’t until I found the Beauty of Imperfection that I could truly embrace and accept all parts of myself. And in the end, I found out that not only is there beauty in imperfection, but we are perfect just as we are. That includes me, and that includes you. And we each have our own version of perfect. Your body, your experience, your unique abilities are what make you YOU. And owning that version of perfect has a great deal of power.
Once you own your perfect, you can find a great deal of freedom. Personally, I have a more loving relationship with my body, I can forgive myself and be honest about the truth, I can lovingly grow and improve myself without fear that I’m not good enough right now. And these things have opened huge pathways of love within myself and with those around me. So I wonder, what can owning your perfect do for you? What power is available to you? Read my tips below and let me know how it goes. Hurray!
Psst! This blog post is proudly sponsored by Parfait Lingerie. I have partnered with this amazing intimates brand many times, and I’m proud to do so again! You will see me sporting a few of their bras and underwear in this post while on my #HurrayVacay in Miami, and can get more information about the company, the fit of each style I’m wearing here, and even a major giveaway at the bottom of this post. Huge hurray and thanks to Parfait!
Style Notes: Wearing a Parfait sports bra in 32DD. This trendy wire-free sports bra is stylish and supportive, and it made for 30C to 40G in UK cup sizes. It looks just as good at the gym as it does with this blazer (thanks to Tobi) and black pants. More info below.
So what does “Perfect” mean, anyway? A few definitions:
- being entirely without fault or defect; flawless {Merriam-Webster}
- corresponding to an ideal standard or abstract concept {Merriam-Webster}
- Having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be {Oxford}
- Absolute; complete {Oxford}
That’s how the dictionary defines it. But what about you?
In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect.
Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways,
and they’re still beautiful.
Style Notes: Wearing a sassy and supportive Parfait sports bra in 32DD. Even though it’s made to support your bust during exercise, I chose to wear it with this blazer and black heels (thanks Tobi), pants, and retro sunglasses and earrings while in the artistic Wynwood area of Miami. More info below.
Reasons You are Absolutely Perfect
One. You were born that way. Hurray! It’s my belief that we are divinely created. And that the creator does not make mistakes. Soooo that means you were perfectly designed and created for this time on earth, with this body, with that mind, with that heart. From the start. Our physical and mental abilities were chosen for us. Perhaps there is a perfect reason you were given the “imperfections” in your life. We were designed to be imperfect and born into this world just as we were supposed to be.
You don’t have to seek perfection.
You already are perfect. Just as you are.
Two. Imperfection is perfect. This may sound contradictory, but humans are designed to be imperfect. We were made to be different and unique from each other, to make mistakes and learn, to fail and grow, to partner with our bodies as they age. We were not designed to be exact replicas of each other, or one matching specimen. We are not robots. Our imperfections are part of the plan. Learn more in my The Beauty of Imperfection blog post.
There is no perfection, only life.
Three. Growth is part of the perfect plan. Loving yourself as is and acknowledging your perfection does not mean that you never want to grow, or change, or update. It doesn’t mean you settle. It simply means that you trust that you are right where you are supposed to be in this time, with this body, with this life right now. That nothing is “wrong” with you. That you are whole and complete. And. That you welcome in growth as part of a perfect plan. That in 5 months, 5 years, or 5 lifetimes you will have grown and learned, your body may have aged or strengthened, and your mind will have expanded after trials and errors and lessons. And you will also be perfect then. We all grow at different rates and in different ways. And that personal growth is part of our individual perfect plans.
Perfectionism is the enemy of happiness. Embrace being perfectly imperfect. Learn from your mistakes and forgive yourself, you’ll be happier. We make mistakes because we are imperfect. Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and keep moving forward.
Style Notes: Wearing a gorgeous Mariela bra by Parfait in 32DD. This beautiful bra has an underwire and lace cups with a satin-like side sling and matching undies. It’s made for 32 to 44 bands, and C to H cup sizes (in UK sizing!). Oooh la la! More info below.
Four. Your body is perfect. The most common complaints of “imperfections” I hear are about bodies. I know this myself because it was me. My relationship with my body has evolved and I have seen many other people take loving steps to find their own version of perfect with their body. Whether it’s those common “imperfections” that are part of our natural aging process like stretch marks, cellulite, wrinkles, and age marks (I got ’em, too!) or even more personalized issues like disabilities, weight gain or loss, illness, and disorders. Finding your OWN perfect for your OWN body may not be easy, but it is worth it. Because your body is perfectly yours.
Five. It’s the truth. I often recognize misunderstandings I am having and forgive myself for this as part of my personal practice. And then, I ask for the truth. The real, honest truth is that you are perfect. Just as you were, are, and will be. In all forms. And the sum of all of your experiences, imperfections, mistakes, growth, successes, hurrays and what the heys, make you YOU. All parts of you are what make you you. You are whole. You are complete. You are meant to be. And that is perfect.
Tell me I’m clever,
Tell me I’m kind,
Tell me I’m talented,
Tell me I’m cute,
Tell me I’m sensitive,
Graceful and Wise
Tell me I’m perfect—
But tell me the TRUTH.
Style Notes: Wearing a gorgeous Mariela bra by Parfait in 32DD and matching bottom in Medium. The plum color and pink lace overlay of this bra are so decadent. It really makes me say hurray! More info below.
6 Ways to Own Your Perfect
A few powerful practices to try out, test, and use to take a step on your own journey toward owning your perfect. Take a look at the advice below, and let me know what you try. These simple steps are just a few of your options! And keep in mind, owning your perfect (just like saying hurray) happens on the inside, outside, and underneath™. Hurray!
On this sacred path of Radical Acceptance,
rather than striving for perfection,
we discover how to love ourselves into wholeness.
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha
Style Notes: I loved wearing this stunning Mariela bra by Parfait in 32DD. The underwire is often very firm in Parfait bras, and that means super duper support (even within a sexy, lace cup!) That matching brief is just as cute, here in size Medium.
Inside
Inside: Our relationship with our inner life, like our emotions and the divine.
Compassionate Self Forgiveness: This is one of the most powerful tools I’ve encountered. It’s a simple but deep practice of taking an honest look at what judgements, misunderstandings, and old stories or fears we are buying into. Perhaps like “I’m not perfect” or “I’m not enough”. And then lovingly forgiving ourselves for it. As mentioned above, once we clear out the misunderstandings there is then room for the truth to come up. And that truth is always compassionate, loving, and perfect.
Check out my free Self Forgiveness gifts, which include a blog post with instructions, guided audio meditation, and video workshop on learning to forgive yourself.
Affirmations: Affirmations are another powerful tool I use on a regular basis. When you’re feeling down, judging yourself, or find yourself comparing your life to others’, you can remind yourself of your own perfection with an affirmation. The thing is you have to believe what you’re saying in order for your heart to really hear it. It’s an affirmation (reminding you of what you already know deep down to be true), not a validation (trying to convince you of something you’re not sure about without proof). So if saying “I’m perfect just as I am” isn’t ringing true yet, find one that does. Maybe it’s “I’m open to seeing my perfection” or “I am taking loving steps to own my perfection”.
I even have a few powerful affirmation graphics that you can choose from. In fact, you can use the truth that bubbled up after a self-forgiveness session to create your own! If you’re just getting started with affirmations, read my blog post on How to Use Affirmations and take a step with this powerful practice.
Style Notes: Take another look at this Cora Longline bra from Parfait. It’s blending in with my skin tone, but the intricate cups and stylish long band are too cool to miss! I’m wearing this in 32DD, and it was pretty snug and had narrow cups for me. I would size up. It’s SO worth a try, and the matching brief is just as cute, here in size Medium. More info on Parfait below.
Outside
Outside: our relationship with the outside world and how we show up in it. Relationships with other people, how we look and present ourselves, and the world around us.
Social Media. OK. This one is big. Social media, like Instagram and Facebook, is an awesome tool for connection. It can also be a vicious tool for comparison. So check in here on two things. 1) Are you putting out your “false perfect” or your “real perfect”? Maybe you’re afraid others will see through to the real you. The real you and what is really going on is perfect.
2) On the flip side, are you letting comparison to other people’s Instagram feeds determine your version of perfect? Social media shows us the highlights and the top peeks (for most people) of what’s going on. Some people present a seemingly perfect life, perfect home, and perfect body. It’s not the whole picture. So maybe keep in mind that the ups, downs, and everything in between is the real deal, even if they don’t show it. I’ve also found that the more at peace I am with my own version of perfect, and the more I love and accept myself, the less seeing other’s successes triggers me. It all starts within first.
Style Notes: An aggressive flock of seagulls can’t ruin this look in the Cora Longline bra from Parfait. It’s a firm fit in 32DD and had narrow set cups for me. I would size up. And the bottom is a Medium. (Trust me. Those birds were out of control!) More info on Parfait below.
Maybe you can step away from people who only show the false perfection and commit to following people who are more open with a truthful, real version of perfect. And perhaps you can lead the way and share both the hurrays and what they heys of your own life. What loving steps can you take when it comes to who you follow and how you show up on social media? {PS enjoy the example here of yours truly in Miami Beach, FL ducking for cover when a flock of aggressive seagulls flew too close for comfort. It took a LOT of behind the scenes work to get the “perfect” shot you see above.}
Write your own definition of “perfect”. Did you read the dictionary definitions of “perfect” above? Don’t forget that you and your worth and value are undefinable. Especially by others. That means you have the power to create your own definition of perfection, success, and beauty. Lovingly let go of other people’s expectations of you and what THEY think is perfect. Check on your relationships with people in your life and how much power you are giving them over your own definition of perfect.
Declare your definition out loud! Own it, and be proud! You may even want to write out your own definition and keep it somewhere close to you so you can reflect on it often, and make sure your actions in the world line up with your own view – not someone else’s.
Style Notes: Wearing a gorgeous Sandrine Longlinge Bra from Parfait in 32DD. This style goes up to a G cup in UK sizing! I have it in black, too, and had to get the pink because it’s SO stylish and fun. And the matching lace boyshorts are a favorite of mine to wear all the time. And thanks to Dr. Scholl’s for the cool wedges!
Underneath
Underneath: Our relationship with what’s under our clothes, like our undergarments and our bodies.
Support Yourself with Undergarments. Your body is perfect and deserves to be supported, adorned, and cared for, and my favorite tool to do so is with bras and underwear (or other lingerie) that fits well and feels good. I love using bras as a way to get to know my body, and to treat it with love and respect. And, because they are right over the heart, they have a true “inside” effect, as well.
Perhaps you can practice using numbers, like your bra size, as information and not a definition of who you are when you measure yourself for your bra size starting points. Use them as a place a start, and then determine what really fits. Get more of my top bra fitting tools on my Underneath Resources page.
Style Notes: Wearing a pop of pink in this Sandrine Longlinge Bra from Parfait in 32DD – which was so perfect in colorful, Miami. BTW: This style goes up to a G cup in UK sizing! And the matching lace boyshorts are a favorite of mine (and very sheer!). Big thanks to Dr. Scholl’s for the cool and very comfy wedges!
Learn to Be Your Body’s Best Friend: Learning to love your body does not happen overnight. It’s hard to suddenly change your view of the perfect figure. I get it. And. One of the ways that I have learned to accept and love my body is to treat it like my best friend. We accept and love best friends as lovable just as they are, right? We’re often less critical and more understanding of our loved ones than we are of ourselves. And though we may not always get along, we make a great effort to support, love, and forgive them.
I wrote about my favorite ways to Be Your Body’s Best Friend in another amazing post with Parfait (this time in LA. See how supportive they are of loving messages like this? It makes me so happy!) Read through it and try out some of the practices yourself.
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Your Turn: How can you own your perfect? What version of perfect matters most to you? How can you practice owning your perfect on the inside, outside, and underneath? What power comes from owning your perfect?
Credits: Photos in this blog post were taken by Becky Yee during my #HurrayVacay in Miami. Several clothing items were gifted from wonderful brands such as Tobi and Dr. Scholl’s. As always, there is ZERO airbrushing or photoshopping of my body, because my body is my perfect.
In this special giveaway with Parfait, TEN winners will get 3 sets for themselves and 3 sets for a friend to empower a woman in your life! Go enter right away, giveaway ends March 27th.
Sponsor Spotlight
Super excited to say a big hurray for the sponsor of this post: Parfait Lingerie! You’ve been seeing me wearing this brand throughout this post during my #HurrayVacay in Miami, but I’ve known their products for a long time. I have fit hundreds if not thousands of people into Parfait bras, including some of the styles you see here. And I’ve taken them on trips to Los Angeles, Hawaii, and now Miami.
Parfait’s #PowerOfPerfect campaign motivates others to find perfection in themselves and remind them of their own inner strength. “In loving ourselves, we encourage others to do the same. We lift others up to where they’re meant to be.”
Dedicated to size inclusivity, fit and innovative style, Parfait collections are designed in both fit and silhouette to elegantly embrace and enhance the body, from petite to full figure. Styles range from bras and briefs to non-wire bralettes and best-selling babydolls, sports bras to nursing bras, bridal lingerie to under-the-gown bustiers. Committed to size-inclusivity, Parfait collections come available in an expansive size range of 28-44 bands, A-K cups, and XS-4XL bottoms (varying by style). The Parfait woman is independent and confident, fashion-forward and discerning. She pays utmost attention to fit in her bras and lingerie and wishes for stylish, comfortable, quality pieces at an accessible price point. Now women can easily add confidence and style to their lingerie wardrobe just by whipping up a little bit of Parfait!
Sizing notes: This brand uses UK sizing, and I’m wearing a 32DD in most of the styles here, and a medium bottom. In my opinion, Parfait uses firm materials and underwires in most of their styles, meaning they can run a bit tighter or feel more rigid than other brands. I love the super support! In most here the 32DD was fine, and I may even size up to a 34 band (and my sister size of 34D) to get a looser band and a more wide set cup. My bra size starting points are 30DDD and 32DD, so that’s a tad on the tight side. Try it out your bra size starting points and see how it feels for you.
Connect with Parfait:
- Website: parfaitlingerie.com
- Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Youtube
PS: Parfait collections have been worn by top actresses, models and performers around the world including Sofia Vergara, Sharon Stone, Nicki Minaj, Ashley Graham, Nicole Scherzinger, Gabrielle Union, Alicia Silverstone, British soul singer Lianne La Havas and yours truly. Want to try Parfait for yourself? Enter my giveaway by March 27th or find where to shop for your favorite style on their website or in your local boutique.
