If you’re queer and looking for undergarment help, you’re in the right place. Or, at least you’re in the right starting place. I’ve been supporting folks with bras, underwear, and lingerie since 2005 when I started as a bra fitter in NYC. There, I was privileged to serve folks of every kind of background and with so many different needs and preferences of shape and support. Supporting folks from the queer community proved to be some of my favorite fittings, and I quickly realized how underserved and varied this group is.

Queer is such an umbrella term, so please know that every person’s experience will vary based on the intersection of their own identities and life experiences. Not to mention, the definition of queer is constantly evolving as our society recognizes and includes the fullness of what it means to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community. And we need to start somewhere. 

So below are a few general resources for shopping for lingerie as a queer person with advice from yours truly, a bra fitter and Undergarment Educator since 2005, as well as folks in the lingerie industry and queer shoppers like yourself.

By the way, as an Undergarment Educator who teaches others how to fit with empathy and accuracy, I must share that the article you see here is really just a starting point. I hope it points you in the right direction to find undergarments and understanding. I hope this gives you fresh advice on how to shop for bras and lingerie so you can support and adorn your body. Basically, I hope you know that you and your body are worthy of love, support, and hurray. Read on and shop!

If you’re looking for advice on how to support and fit queer folks in your own bra shop or business, join The Fitters’ Formula. We have a dedicated deep dive on this very topic, as well as a course and community to support your bra fitting growth.

Bonus: If you’re super interested in this topic from an industry standpoint, take a look at the panel I hosted back in 2019 on inclusiveness. Within it, you’ll find some excellent discussion on inclusivity in general, and some specific support for the queer community. This is a lingerie industry panel, and folks within or outside of the industry can gain a lot of insight from watching.

Tips for Queer Lingerie and Undergarment Shopping

Part of me wants to say that there is no difference in shopping for undergarments if you’re queer than if you’re het-cis. However, we know that there are various challenges and joys that come with being queer, and lingerie and underwear shopping has its own pros and cons. Safety and a welcoming environment are top of the list when it comes to priorities, and then specific styles that cater to the queer experience or specific physical needs. 

To support us, I’ve gathered some tips from queer folks and queer friendly lingerie boutiques and brands, as well as my own advice. Take a look below! 

• Ask your friends! Personal referrals are often very useful, especially if you can be honest about what your needs are and if your friends have similar needs. Online forums or local queer groups are great for this if your personal circle isn’t the best source. 
• Look in queer friendly neighborhoods. Though queer welcoming stores can absolutely exist outside of queer centric areas, those areas can be a great place to start. Look up shops, or ask for referrals from patrons and shop owners in that area. 
• Look online to see if the store or brand has any language around being open to hosting or specifically supporting queer folks. That might be on their About, Contact, or home page. You might also look on their social media and see if they post any queer related content. Keep in mind, those that don’t may still be welcoming and open to supporting you! But any openly supportive content is a green flag. You can also see if they carry any specific products that will serve your needs, like binders, pocketed bras, tucking underwear, etc. 
• I have a bra fitter directory coming soon! In my Find a Fitter directory, shops can self-identify as “LGBTQIA+ friendly”. This might mean they carry items specifically for certain members of the queer community, or might just be extra welcoming to queer folks.

Call or visit ahead – When I was working in a bra retail shop in NYC, I remember answering a lot of bra questions on the phone. Shoppers wanted to know what to expect, and if we might have a specific size range or style that they were looking for. After all, it’s a pain to drive or travel 45 minutes just to find out a store doesn’t carry sports bras for 46G sizes. The same is true for queer folks! It’s totally ok to call ahead and ask if they carry binders or firm underwear you can use for tucking. It’s also ok to do a vibe check and see if the store is welcoming and safe to visit.

Once, a transgender client called ahead and not only asked about products, but also wanted to make sure they were welcome, and asked if we preferred they come in at a specific time. This was to prevent other clients from feeling uncomfortable in the fitting rooms next door. I thought this was so thoughtful and kind for everyone involved – including them! After all, 19+ years ago it was less common to support trans clientele, even in NYC. 

Now, more stores and their clients are more inclusive than ever before, but we still have a long way to go. Not every store in every town will be educated or open enough to welcome all kinds of clients. I wish I didn’t have to write that. And, it’s important for us to be frank and honest here. It’s up to you, and how safe and welcomed you feel at the shop in your area is measured by you alone. Keep in mind, you can always travel to an inclusive shop! Make a trip to a boutique into a holiday and a bra shopping getaway! 

Keep in mind that the welcoming vibe or level of experience and expertise may differ from person to person at the shop. So by calling ahead and letting them know a specific need, such as tucking underwear or your first bra post HRT, might help them make sure your appointment is with a specific team member who can best support you. This will also help you avoid any staff members who may not be as skilled or as inclusive. 

Go online 

As a bra fitter, I usually suggest in-store shopping as the best method for getting a great fit. That said, not everyone has access to an awesome bra shop. And, I understand that not everyone feels safe or comfortable shopping in-person. So, take your bra and undergarment shopping online! You can shop the brands below online from the comfort of your home. Don’t be afraid to purchase a few sizes or styles, and return what doesn’t work or isn’t quite right. Your body deserves to wear something great, not just good! That said: double check return policies and fees with things like undergarments! And utilize online customer service chats, email support, and phone lines. Their teams can help you decide what to buy & try. 

Think Outside the Box

While it’s exciting and affirming to find something specifically for queer or trans folks, you can also venture outside of the queer box to find items that may be just what you need. For example, post mastectomy bras can be amazing for a transwoman who wears breast inserts. Or, a compression sports bra or minimizer bra might give you the look you’re going for with a binder. And those shaping briefs from shapewear companies are awesome for tucking. Not to mention, some traditional companies like Jockey make cool men’s thongs. Who knew? 

Shop with queer affirming brands when you can. Those items were made with you in mind, and you’re supporting a queer focused company to do more great work. And, take a step outside the box when you need more items to round out your undergarment wardrobe. Hurray!  

Want more inspiration? The lovely woman in the title image is named Kate, and she wrote a wonderful article after participating in my More Than My Numbers shoot. She has several vulnerable articles, and her writing is so courageous. Read more about Kate’s journey to womanhood and how lingerie helped her say hurray!

Buy & Try: Queer-Friendly Undergarments

Important: to be clear, undergarments (just like any garment) are not inherently queer or not. They are fabric. Bras or lingerie don’t have a gender, sex, or sexuality, and aren’t exclusive to a specific category of person. Underwear does not care who you love or have sex with. That said, undergarments can also be gender affirming, euphoric, and specifically designed for certain bodily or identity needs that are unique to queer culture. So, those listed below address some of those unique needs.

Binders

Binders are worn by those who want to decrease the appearance of their bust, or create the look of a flat chest. This is a common option for, but not limited to, transmen or non-binary folks. One thing to remember is that binding can be dangerous if you go overboard. Please be gentle with your body and yourself, and find one that fits, you can still breathe and move in, and achieves the look you’re going for.

Wire-Free and Trans Friendly Bras

Wireless bra options are great for anyone! They’re especially great for men, as there’s no need to line up an underwire on a flat front. And they’re awesome for transgender women whose body might be in flux, or if they have a wider chest. Bras typically have a narrow center gore – so until we get more options specifically for the trans community (there are some below!) it’s ok to go with those that are more flexible. 

Wire or not? Up to you! One of my social media followers, Harold, says he loves to wear his breast forms with an underwire bra like the Prima Donna or Wacoal styles below. The fuller coverage and firm support are secure enough to keep the forms from shifting or sliding. 

Alternatively, one of the fitters in The Fitters’ Formula, Chai of Body by Chai in Canada, noted that some of her trans clients prefer wire-free bras to match up with their budding bust or wider set breasts. Wear what serves and supports your body and don’t be afraid to test and try things out.

Pocketed Bras & Bras for Breast Forms

Bras with pockets are great for folks who want to wear an insert, prosthesis, or enhancer for their bust. The pocket will keep the insert in place and away from your skin. These can be more contour and shape creating themselves, or more flexible. 

Support transgender bra sizing!

Our current bra sizing and designs are not supportive of most transgender women’s needs and realities. The founder of Ms. A London, Bok Goodall, has created My Size CIC.

“We are researching and developing a clothing sizing system for the Transfeminine community – the first of it’s kind globally, to take the guesswork out of buying lingerie and underwear. Without correct sizing in clothing (and in particular lingerie) nothing fits right. The needs of an ever growing global community are not being met in terms of fit and sizing availability.” You can help them develop this sizing system with your funds!

Silhouette Changers

Undergarments have been used to enhance or change our silhouettes for centuries. Corsets, bras, and shapewear do this all the time. And, sometimes changing our silhouette helps us feel more at home in our body, especially if we associate that silhouette with our gender. Below are some options that can create the shape you might be looking for. 

Tucking Underwear & Gaffs

Tucking is a term used to describe placing the penis underneath or against the body, and creating a smooth front look at the pelvis. Some folks use tape, but I suggest a panty or gaff with compression and a wider gusset for everyday wear. Some items below were made specifically with tucking in mind, but some shaping panties are also perfect for this! “Powermesh” or compression are keywords to look for. Be gentle with yourself and make sure comfort and fit are top of the list. 

Masculine Period Underwear

I use period underwear myself! And a young transgender man in my life calls his period “shark week”, and is very grateful for more masculine presenting options when it comes to period care. Using tampons and pads feels very upsetting for him, and bleeding into a short that looks like a boxer brief is a far better choice. Plus, there’s no need to carry around or unwrap period accessories in a public restroom! 

Front Pouch Lingerie Underwear 

While cis-het men can and absolutely do wear lingerie, it’s often embraced and used as an empowerment tool within the gay community. I love seeing men and folks of all genders say hurray for lingerie! Below are some underwear that are specifically designed for a person with a penis. There are so many beautiful and even luxe options these days, so have fun and express yourself.

Learn more about Men’s Lingerie and why it’s so important in this panel I hosted at Curve NY on the topic. The panelists vary from designer, podcaster, lingerie professional and even a psychologist!

Packing underwear 

This kind of underwear has a pocket function at the front for a “packer”, which transgender men sometimes use to create shape and affirm their gender.

Non-Binary or Genderless Bras 

Some brands specifically design bras that are designed to be worn by any gender. By default, undergarments and garments are genderless. Truly. Fabric does not have a gender. But these brands work hard to take the binary out of underwear, and allow whomever it pleases to wear their pieces. In the end, anyone can wear anything, anywhere. Here are just a few examples.

Post Surgical Undergarments

Post surgical needs vary greatly, so please talk to your doctor or surgeon about what to wear. These items are great for compression, which increases blood flow and helps with healing, especially after top surgery or augmentation. 

Your safety and body euphoria are important. Your joy and hurray are necessities. As you navigate shopping for undergarments, keep that in mind. I hope these suggestions support you, and that sacred area right over your heart. Hurray!

More about the transgender lingerie experience

Back in 2017, I fit a wonderful trans woman Nicki and shared her experience of shopping for bras in New York City. In this article, you will see a really euphoric photoshoot that she did as well as quotes from other transgender folks about their own shopping experience for undergarments. I hope it inspires you and supports you along your own journey of learning to love your body.

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