Oh hurrrrray there. In case you weren’t already hit over the head with it every time you go to the drug store, I’m letting you know: Valentine’s Day is Saturday. Hurray! Whether you’re spending the day with your sweetie, your friends, your family, or yourself – it’s a pretty great day to embrace your inner vixen.
If you look up vixen on google, it’s defined as:
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a female fox.
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a spiteful or quarrelsome woman.
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WTF? I didn’t realize vixen had such a negative connotation. To me, vixen means a woman who takes charge of her life and her desires. She takes risks and reaps the rewards. She is flirtatious or dangerous if she wants to be, or coquettish, or inviting, or dominating, or sincere. To me, a vixen is a sexy woman who is what and who she wants to be. Want to embrace your inner vixen? Here are a few tips to find her and let her come out and play, even if just for the day. Hurray!
1) Define your own sexy
In my years in the lingerie business, I’ve helped women with everything from lace g-strings to very simple foundations. After we’ve covered the basics, I usually ask if they’d like to try something “sassy”. I just LOVE helping a woman find her confidence when she slips on something exciting. What the customer ends up choosing as her “sassy” item varies widely. For some, it’s something sheer, for others it’s a bold color. Often it’s lace, and once in awhile it’s one of those basic foundations we just talked about. For you, what’s important is that YOU feels sexy in it. Maybe it’s not even lingerie! (Although, it certainly makes ME say hurray.) Don’t be tempted to give in to what others are showing you as sexy in magazines or movies. Without judgement or fear, ask yourself what inspires you to feel sexy, strong, feminine, powerful … and then go out and try it. Trust me, when YOU feel sexy, your partner will see that confidence and sense that energy. . . and confident energy is always sexy.
2) Be a flirt
I love to flirt. I flirt with my husband all the time. And while I pump the breaks when it comes to actual hard core flirtatious interaction with all other men, I still get my fill. Flirting can be as simple as holding eye contact across the subway, or an extra grin at the bar tender, or a slow batting of the eyes and a sincere thank you to the bank teller. There’s certainly a line here that you shouldn’t cross (please do not take this suggestion as an invitation to sexually harass someone, take something too far, or lead someone on) but I think our world puts too much of a damper on flirting. Flirting is a compliment. It’s a recognition of the other person’s attractiveness – either physical, emotional, or intellectual. I say, let us not temper our feminine charms just because we’ve been told to. Flirting, when done properly, is not slutty or sleazy. Flirting is infectious, it’s magnetic and it’s down right fun.
3) Try something naughty
I love wearing color and pretty things underneath it all, but my choices in lingerie tend to be pretty PG rated. Once, I went off my beaten path and tried {gasp!} crotchless undies. Even though I may not make them my everyday underwear, it was so exhilarating to try something new and a little bit naughty! No one is saying you have to go all Fifty Shades of Gray, but no one is stopping you either. Give yourself permission to try. I’m trying new things all the time now 🙂
4) Watch a movie
With all the hubbub surrounding the Fifty Shades of Gray movie, there’s a new spotlight on erotic literature and films. I haven’t actually read the aforementioned book and may or may not see the movie. There are SO many options out there. Remember to follow step number 1 and define your own sexy when it comes to movies, too. Maybe that means popping in an old femme fatale movie or a raunchy rom-com. Perhaps it means something more adult or … even making your own. With or without a partner, movie night is always a good idea.
5) Book a shoot
There is something SO glamorous about doing a photo shoot. And while the actual work (yes, it’s really work) is not 100% glamorous, the experience and the end result sure can be. I worked with Around Digital Media on the photos in this post, and I had my hair and make up done (by Katie Bickert and Mollie Parks) and I felt soooooo sassy! It was risky for me to take these. Even though someone else may show it all, just showing off my bra (yes, even though I’ve seen thousands of naked women and have zero problem talking about nipples and touching another woman’s breasts) is kind of a big deal. I am not a traditional model. And I certainly am not flawless. But the power of posing in front of a camera can not be denied.
The idea of boudoir photography is very popular right now. There’s couples boudoir, bridal boudoir, maternity boudoir, retro boudoir. . . you name it, you can find a photographer who does it. I love it! It’s a way for the non-model woman to embrace her inner vixen and look her very best in front of the lens. It’s empowering. It’s ownership of your body. It’s celebratory. It’s sexy. It’s a discovery. It can be for you alone or for you to share. (PS: This very topic came up at the most recent Pepper Brunch with Jessie Artigue and her guest, photographer Tutti Del Monte. Book a session with her. Now. She’s amazing and her whole philosophy and reason for doing boudoir is so on point). What will you wear to your shoot?
Society may tell us that being a vixen is a bad thing. That being a strong woman who knows what she wants and acts on it is wrong. I say hurray for being a vixen. Being smart, stylish, empowered and sexy is a good thing. And that includes respecting others and giving with all of your heart. Who says that these things are mutually exclusive?
Stepping outside of your comfort zone has its rewards. Are you ready to be a vixen this Valentine’s (or any other) Day?
